Growing up…



Since I was a young Child I have been very curious, aware and sensitive.  My gifts were unrecognized, unsupported, and unguided, for simply lack of understanding by my parents, family or teachers in school or church. You are too sensitive, too intense, question to much, these were not compliments. I did not receive any encouragement or direction. Just be quiet.  I understand others reactions to me were based on beliefs of what was normal and how the world functions at that time.

Understanding the characteristics of being highly sensitive, ferociously curious, passionate, or contemplative as positives were not considered an asset but rather an annoyance by most people. Instead I heard criticism about being so sensitive, curious, talkative, passionate, asking hard questions not settling for pat answers that made no sense. Now I know,what I was criticized for all these years was not a flaw or defect in me just mis-informed statements or understanding. My sensitivity, intensity, intelligence and the way my mind functions is a gift and an asset, and an expression of my God given DeZign. 

However before I realized this, I spent many years alone, trying to suppress who I was, fit in, while searching for answers. Why was I so different, what was wrong with me . How can I be more “normal”, and fit in. Why did I feel so deeply and was so sensitive, or intense, or have to talk about everything ?  How did I know what I knew. Time and again I was guided to resources, first by reading books and then surfing the internet for answers and led to others like me. I took many personality tests to pinpoint who I was. At times it was like looking in a mirror as they explained the characteristics of my personality. My awareness and confidence grew as they shared their own experiences online.  I was NOT too sensitive and there is nothing wrong with me, and to my relief, I am not alone.  

In a turn of events I had a son that is on the high end of the Awetizm spectrum. In researching for 100’s of hours to understand, and support him and his difference. Focus on his unique abilities instead of disabilities. As fate would have it, as a result I also finally found myself. By accepting and supporting him, I grew to accept and support myself.
Yes…..I am highly sensitive, intuitive, curious and talkative about what I am passionate about. Notice patterns and sequences, love to research and gather information on favorite topics. Must have my alone time. I learned that we are all wired a certain way from birth. My son taught me about accepting those differences, even when it conflicted with my way of doing things.

I am more introverted, above average IQ and an INFJ. I belong to a group that happens to share the same similar traits, that is not common, about 1% of the human population and other traits that make up 5% and at best 20%. Thus I am the odd man out in most social settings. I accept that most people won’t get me or like me because of these differences. 

That is ok, because I have found people that understand who I am. Explain why and where I needed to focus to flourish being me. The internet thru Divine guidance has given me back to me, and for that I am grateful and can breath a sigh of relief. The world wide web has joined us all together, by a simple google search. The way I was dezigned has a purpose and is an asset when directed and utilized in the right career and environment. I can relax and accept others as well, not take their remarks personally. We all have a purpose and a unique dezign, and need each other to function together as a human family.

That being said…using the internet…my vocation is to create a safe space for those who struggle with these same questions. Who have become enmeshed in others opinions and limiting beliefs of who they are and should BE. Those that have been stuck in fear of rejection or anxiety to experience their own Living Raydiance. Teaching others how to BE their unique expression and live full on as themselves. To hear the still small voice within their own heart guiding them. To BE and Raydiate in their lives. To heal and thrive to spite self esteem damage as children, or became the victims of abuse or trauma in relationships as a result.

I support your journey with Grace, and fresh perspective so you can mindfully live a Raydiate Life from the inside out, accept and express your Raydiant DeZign purpose and passion.